♥ 13 is forever.

♥ Tuesday, September 30, 2008 ♥

HI @ 11:32 PM

wow i haven't been here in a month....
now i felt like blogging because the past couple of days i feel depressed and emo.
i have no one to talk to
*FOR REALS IM CRYING*
why does the bad people gets the all the luck
and we who trust GOD and stay loyal to him
only gets little luck not tht im not believing in GOD anymore i do but im wondering why
i won't lose hope in GOD....
but i always wondered no matter how much i pray everynight and try and be selfless
i still can't get credit for it all i wanted was for my family to be able to pay the house
is it soo much...i don't want anything for me except to be good in school isn't that selfless enough?!?!?!
why does my family suffer and those people who are bad gets all the luck??! and credit?!?!
when my mom complains to me about my grades i feel guilty im doing my best but i let her down and i can't do anything about it which is why its so frustrating
when i see how hard my mom works and i can't help her its frustrating and i feel sad
i cry a lot behind her back because i see that i can't help my mom and i just feel soo mad at myself for doing so....
i didn't want to make her sad by telling her i cried
but i just don't get it you know....why me? why my family?
isn't what i've done my whole life enough?
sure i've done bad things but i don't think this punishment is fair you know?
*FOR REALS: TEARS DROP*
i just am really mad abt this whole thing ...
WHY AM I JUST SO USELESS?!?!
WHY AM I NOTHING?!?!
WHY CAN'T I DO ANYTHING RIGHT?!
WHY AM I SO STUPID?!
i can't even help my own family and they call me smart
im their only hope and im such a useless girl
i guess not everyone can do everything right
i would say thts me but i do everything wrong sooo there's no right at all
i can't even describe how sad i really feel now
and i don't even have anyone to talk to
my so-called frens wouldn't listen to me they'd just ignore me and give me advice and none of those consolations...
they're too wrapped up in themselves
not saying they're bad i love them but just once i wished they'd listen to me....
i can't talk to my parents i'd just make them sad and i hate seeing them sad....
I LOVE MY FAMILY!!
they deserve a better daughter than me...

Labels: emo days depressing

Super Junior, 13 is forever. ♥

♥ Monday, September 1, 2008 ♥

hello ppl! @ 2:07 PM

okay so hi ppls i haven't posted in a few days cos im too lazy
hehe lazyy butt
uhh newayz school is still horrible till i get my sched. changed soo yeah
but today is LABOR DAY!~ no school tee-hee
but i got my piano teacher on my case so thts not good>.<
well since yesterday was sunday i got to clean the house
while no one helps me my dad and my brother just play and watch me
while i clean the house all by myself...
whatevs my dad and i had a fight newayz
and saturday i got my hair straightened:D
i'll give you pix 2mmorow cos i got lazy to take pix yesterday:]
man im such a camwhoreeee
newayzz thats all for today toodles:D

Super Junior, 13 is forever. ♥

♥ Thursday, August 28, 2008 ♥

FIRST DAY OF HIGH SCHOOL:D @ 4:20 PM

wahhhh im having a badd time in hsmy first day of high school? chaos>.<
but like freshman year sucks>.<
can't find ne of my classes
ppl from my elementary school came back
linee isn't there and neither is phiyenoyyy the teachers are plain weird
and so does freshman seminar/healthand all the things in the classrooms are like from the 80's
freshman suckkssss
moreover JROTC/military training goddd its scareee
plus it took me 15 min. to get my sched.too many ppl and soo little of a school i got lost at times
i dun have ne classess w/ ktran and only 1 class w/ tran and few classes w/ Brianand most of the kids in my class are like ewwwish
i dun like comp. either its boringgg
i need to get my sched. changed>.
dangggg lines are long to the counselor's office

Super Junior, 13 is forever. ♥

♥ Wednesday, August 27, 2008 ♥

NERVOUS WRECK~~ @ 12:17 PM

okay as u all ppl's noe im starting skool really soon:D
okay so its tommorow
and im a nervous wreck>>.<<
what if i can't find my class?
what if i humiliate myself on the first day of school?
what if ppl hates me?
what if i get into trouble?
these are some of the questions tht haunt me everytime>.<
so i need help really bad:D
*HUGE SIGH*
im just not used to be in a new a school
cos i dun like it i have to start everything from scratch
including teacher's trust and friends
i dun like to be left out thts why
im sooo shyyyy
and plus this is high school the rules are wayyy diffrent
in matters of outside class and inside
im gonna die if i don't follow it
high school is wayyyy scarier than middle or elementary school
it'll be a nightmare if u don't follow rulesT___T
guess thts all for today:D yes i have not one pix today so quiet!!
im too nervous god im a nervous wreck x__x

Super Junior, 13 is forever. ♥

♥ Tuesday, August 26, 2008 ♥

Hey:D @ 3:17 PM

~*~My New Haircut~*~

Read the rest of my Blog pls<3

Hey ppls.... sorry i haven't been posting in 2 days
i was busy w/ stuff
as always my piano lessons on mondays
god i hate my piano teacher its suicide to spend 1 minute w/ her let alone 1 hour>.<
i'd rather do chinese lessons 3 hours rather than piano grawr
and school is starting soon like on thursday....
waaahhhhhh so nervous i wish i'd get fresman year over with already
its agonyyyy plus i won't even see half my frens and im gonna be new to the school and all:(
hmm and i got a haircut and it looks ewwwish according to my mom
but how about u guys look at it and comment:D
its sorta like short in front and its straight in the back instead of like a triangle
so technically its half-layers
PLEASE YOU GUYS! BE HONEST!!!
if not i'll be the laughing stock of my frensT___T
well see ya soon!^______^

love, 小芬

Super Junior, 13 is forever. ♥

♥ Saturday, August 23, 2008 ♥

Party Day:D @ 11:36 PM

hey ppls how are u today?

hmm my day turned out okay i guess

my fren becca went to my lil sis party

i thought it was like me, her and my other fren linee's last day to get together

so we should have fun and we did until the time for the aquarium came

and i noe linee can't make it to the aquarium i was gonna go to

so i asked becca and she wouldn't come almost newayz i dragged her

and we didn't go cos my sis fell asleep she made me walk outside

okay its not tht hot but still and not tht far of a walk still i got blisters>.<

im not used to it and i was soo tired fromt he partyT___T

(becca if u see this pls no comment!)

and well i got pissed at her at times but i hold grudges only when they did reallliiee wrong

which becca didn't do soo much of so i got over it quickly well...sorta:]

today was nice my mom didn't get mad at me at all except for tht thing

when i came home late from walking w/ becca;p

oh and the fact tht somehow misteriously $2,000 was gone from my house>.<

kinda creepyyy i have this crazyyy thought and 50% sure its a spirit

cos i haven't been able to sleep almost every night

w/ out feeling someone was watching me in the closet

which is why i close the closet and

thts where the money is except idk why a spirit wants to steal money hehe:D

ok nvm tht it was soo weird hehe

hmm wat else i should say uhhh nothing i guess sooo i have pixxx from the party:D

sorry if u can't see the pix cos its my first time forgive me=D

Super Junior, 13 is forever. ♥

♥ Friday, August 22, 2008 ♥

Hello Peoples! @ 3:54 PM

Hey all wats up?!
hmm lemme tell you about my stinkin day today
as usual my mom yells at me cos the house is a mess and tht when i clean it its not clean like she wants it to be
shes lucky im even doing it for her>.<
i have to do my chinese hw moreover school's starting
and shes always saying that i don't have to do housework its all lies truth is she makes me do it anywayz
shes also like one of those asian parents if i back sass she'll punish me(u azn ppl gets it right?)
yeah and she keeps complaining if my grades go down even a bit
today she kept yelling at me of how the house is a mess
and i had a bdae card ready for Linee's Day and guess what?!?!
she looked at it and well she kept criticizing it how it wasn't nice and stuff
and kept making me do another one tht would fit the box>>.<<
if she doesen't know how to work a comp. then she shouldn't criticize me and let me just work it out on my own arrghhhh!
right now id trade my life w/ anyone grawr..

i guess thts all for today:D see u all 2mmorow

Super Junior, 13 is forever. ♥