♥ 13 is forever.

♥ Tuesday, September 30, 2008 ♥

HI @ 11:32 PM

wow i haven't been here in a month....
now i felt like blogging because the past couple of days i feel depressed and emo.
i have no one to talk to
*FOR REALS IM CRYING*
why does the bad people gets the all the luck
and we who trust GOD and stay loyal to him
only gets little luck not tht im not believing in GOD anymore i do but im wondering why
i won't lose hope in GOD....
but i always wondered no matter how much i pray everynight and try and be selfless
i still can't get credit for it all i wanted was for my family to be able to pay the house
is it soo much...i don't want anything for me except to be good in school isn't that selfless enough?!?!?!
why does my family suffer and those people who are bad gets all the luck??! and credit?!?!
when my mom complains to me about my grades i feel guilty im doing my best but i let her down and i can't do anything about it which is why its so frustrating
when i see how hard my mom works and i can't help her its frustrating and i feel sad
i cry a lot behind her back because i see that i can't help my mom and i just feel soo mad at myself for doing so....
i didn't want to make her sad by telling her i cried
but i just don't get it you know....why me? why my family?
isn't what i've done my whole life enough?
sure i've done bad things but i don't think this punishment is fair you know?
*FOR REALS: TEARS DROP*
i just am really mad abt this whole thing ...
WHY AM I JUST SO USELESS?!?!
WHY AM I NOTHING?!?!
WHY CAN'T I DO ANYTHING RIGHT?!
WHY AM I SO STUPID?!
i can't even help my own family and they call me smart
im their only hope and im such a useless girl
i guess not everyone can do everything right
i would say thts me but i do everything wrong sooo there's no right at all
i can't even describe how sad i really feel now
and i don't even have anyone to talk to
my so-called frens wouldn't listen to me they'd just ignore me and give me advice and none of those consolations...
they're too wrapped up in themselves
not saying they're bad i love them but just once i wished they'd listen to me....
i can't talk to my parents i'd just make them sad and i hate seeing them sad....
I LOVE MY FAMILY!!
they deserve a better daughter than me...

Labels: emo days depressing

Super Junior, 13 is forever. ♥